On Tuesday, we got the greatest news! I got a reprieve from all these cancer screenings. Six whole months of freedom. The longest spell yet.
But for some reason, on Wednesday, I tumbled down the rabbit's hole. My soul carried me to a dark, mouldy warren of sadness, anxiety and pain. I suffered dreams from my past about the abuse my grandparents shaped me with. I was tortured by fears of my ex-husband. I checked every mole for signs of betrayal.
I was profoundly lost.
The caul is slowly lifting. It started yesterday afternoon. I'm clawing my way back to the open air.
Perhaps when the weight lifted off from all the cancer screenings, I collapsed from sheer exhaustion. The pappies have been quietly waiting for me, leaning over the edge, wagging their tails and hoping for my return.
Tomorrow is my forty-ninth birthday. Time to surface. Hang on kids, I'm almost there.
