Yesterday, Hud and I returned from our annual trip to Slidell, LA to walk withthe Krewe of Mona Lisa and Moon Pies. Again, a fabulous time was had by one and all.
However, while the cat was away, the mice were at play.
Phhhhtttt. I was here the whole time, Mother. Pooping on the puppy pads. Whatever do you meeeeeeen?
It was a metaphor for us, Aida. Not you. Nevermind.
After many kisses and hugs, we all trudged up the stairs with ten bajillion pieces of luggage. Seriously. I wish I were the girl who could toss a lip gloss and a an extra t-shirt in a bag and go jetting off for the weekend. So, if you saw what we carried in the Mustang to Slidell, you'd understand that ten bajillion is not hyperbole. We stopped when there was only room for our bodies to squeeze into the seats.
I dragged my make-up case into the bedroom and saw this:
Someone had been sleeping in our bed.
It'sMyBedToo,Asshole.IMadeItPerfect.YourWaySucks.
Simone immediately jumped in and scooted her face on the covers to show me how she got the perfect fold to snuggle against.
On her dad's side of the bed she sleeps on the covers with her head gently resting on a pillow. On my side, she sleeps on the pillows. They were a jumbled I-240 pile up of a car wreck on my side.
It couldn't have been Carmen. Her days of coming upstairs are over. She was passed out in her food dish in the den.
Zoe can't drag all of her muscles up that far. The bed is thirty-four inches tall.
It had to be Simone. She's the only one who can get on the bed. Pauvre Zali is too, um, portly to scale the massive height. He has to sleep on a dog GOD bed when we travel. He was whining to get up. Who could blame him? I lifted him up.
Sooooo very tired, Muzher. NotMe,Dammit!I'mWeddyToWumble!
She had even pulled over my hoodie to nap and roll around in. I went down the hall to the dressing room only to discover more carnage from Simone Buhler's Day Off.
Simone had gotten in the laundry and spread it all over the room. I found panties in my shoes.
Daddee!Dad!Dad!DADDEE!DidYouSeeIDidTheLaundry,Dammit?DidYouSee?
ItStunkedLikeYouSoISpweadItAllOverToPweetendYouWereHere!ItGame!MeSmart,Wight?
Sigh.
I wish I could teach her to pick up the house while I'm gone. A maid I could use. This? Not so much.
