I know I have been extremely busy with all the studio whirling dervish action going on out there, but why, oh WHY HAS THE NEGLECT MADE MY BIG KIDS INSANE?
This is the only good child living at the Hudarosa:
"MEMommy?What'dIDo?"
Yes, I a packing the rest of them off to Siberia to live with foreigners in the icy cold, where they will only be fed frozen beets and cold air for the duration of their entitled little lives.
The other morning, Zali kept disappearing downstairs. Normally, he likes to snuggle up tight against my legs and dream of chasing rabbits while I type away on my computer. Tickity, tickity, tack, tack, snore, wiggle, wiggle... He sighs in rhythm to my moving fingers. But not this particular morning.
Hud ambled downstairs to take Zoe to the park for their morning run. She was nowhere to be found so he assumed that she had made her way to the foyer to wait for him. Zoe was downstairs alright. She was not delighted by his arrival, but startled out a fiber induced frenzy in the dining room. She was hastily trying to finish her second bag of Khashi Go Lean.
Two years that cereal has rested undisturbed on the bottom shelf of the pantry. On this day, her tiny dinosaur brain figured out that it was crunchy tasty treats in cardboard. She had pulled out the giant Costco box and dragged it to her favorite spot, under the glass dining table. For some reason, she thinks no one can see her there. Ninety-three pounds of red dog. Under a glass table. As an aside, For the first two years of her life, she could not understand why she couldn't taste the food on the table as she licked it from the underside of the glass. Zoe is the Rhodes Scholar of Labs, I tell you.
Zali and Carmen were assisting her. Carmen. The dog who is allergic to all grains. Eating whole grain cereal. Zali. Who is on a diet to trim down. Throwing down carbs like he was breathing air. They consumed half a bag between them.
To Hud's compliment, he did not actually harm a hair on anyone's derriere. He did however, invent a few delicious new curse words involving canines and the Lord.
Simone and I were oblivious to the Great Khashi Disaster of 2010. She was installed on her pillowed perch, right above my head. She only awakened when Hud came up the stairs to inform me that my ill mannered, self involved, starving, pitiful dogs were all headed straight to the pound.
Zali whimpered to be picked up and put on the bed. By rote, Hud reached for him. "Whoa! This is gonna' be a two man job! Get the cherry picker! We got a bigun' here!" In the course of an hour, Zali had doubled in size. He looked like one of those sheep from the Wiley Coyote cartoon. He was a black and white ball of fluff with four tiny legs protruding out the sides at ninety degree angles.
So here I sit with my one good child. God I'm going to miss the rest of them. I was really sort of attached to that chubby black and white one. The fuzzy old one had been around for ages. And that big redhead? Ummmm, she sure was pretty. Dumb. But pretty.
They were paid back with the fussiest tummies I have ever witnessed. Or should I say derrieres...
*Zoe did not connect the dots between gorging and stomach trouble. Today as we returned from lunch with friends, I discovered that Zoe had broken into the pantry once again and tore into a bag of dog food. She had to rip open a plastic container to get to it. To the moon, Zoe(Alice)! To the moon!
